Are you a soothsayer? If you were, you would have known we’d be asking you that question. You need the Magic 7 Ball. Simply ask it a question and turn it over, then be amazed when the answer is magically revealed – though it helps if the question is “What was Mickey Mantle’s uniform number?”
What, you’re supposed to get through a full 6-hour workday without gorging on a bag or three of cheese doodles? Of course not. But now there are orange crumbs all over your office floor. Problem solved with the Vroomba, the autonomous vacuum/roadster. With its 175 horsefly-power engine, just wind it up, let it go and watch it grind those crumbs deep into the carpet fibers so that they’re hardly noticeable anymore.
So what if our office is three blocks from the world’s most famous baseball bat manufacturer? We prefer our own proprietary model, the Louisville Clubber. Hand-crafted by a local prison gang using confiscated shivs, this rough-hewn chunk of deadwood is the ultimate accessory for those nights out clubbin’.
Sure, it looks like an ordinary staple remover, but this indispensible multi-purpose office tool is so much more. Nose hair remover. Roach clip. Idea extractor. Client persuader. No office should be without one. Or twelve. Hurry, supplies are limited. So limited, in fact, that we don’t have any.
We’ve all been there. It’s past noon, your stomach is rumbling and Bill from Accounting is droning on and on without mercy. Good news: Relief is at hand. Nothing says “meeting adjourned” like one well-aimed blast from this must-have office tool. Your coworkers will thank you. Well, except Bill from Accounting.
Unless you’re some kind of Hollywood celebrity, you’re stuck with the face you’re born with. And sometimes that face can’t fully express your passion for what you do. Enter the Game Face. Just slip it on and everyone instantly knows you mean business. Just be sure to remove it before entering a bank, convenience store, or bedroom (unless you’re into that sort of thing).
Golfers, you know how frustrating it can be to take a drop when your ball lands in an abandoned mine or a limestone quarry, like the one on 16 at Crooked Shrub. Well, drop no more, because this handy sledgehammer will help you blast out from even the most rock-ensconced lie. Or, if you’re like us, you’ll find it’s a great tool for those times when you hit the wall, creatively.